Chaos Girl

12 March 2009, 6am Thursday - Day 9, at sea to Maldives; at 02°28.036N and 77°34.715E, traveling 5.5 knots per hour, 282 miles to go.

…okay, the 6am log entry is done. We’re two degrees one minute above the equator so it’s only a matter of time now…only 282 miles to go. We only did a hundred miles the last twenty-four hours, so it could take about two more days if the wind stays at around 5-6 knots. It would be great fun to get wind and do 9+ knots again for a while (only after my shower), but then we’d be there in no time. We could be there in a day…tomorrow at this time. I can’t bear the thought of this being over…and I’ll have to endure two more weeks of the Maldives version of paradise before I get to do another sea passage. And it will be only 350 miles to Chagos where I will have to survive six freaking weeks of paradise before the passage to Seychelles. The good news is that the passage to Seychelles is 950 miles and then to Madagascar another 600 miles. But…as luck would have it, Seychelles is supposed to be another fucking paradise so John wants to chill there for a week. It really frustrates me, all this paradise. I just don’t like it. I keep telling Alyssa it’s all North Button to me. Oh, I’m sounding so cynical. She assures me it all isn’t North Button – that there will be other yachties and we’ll have our own dinghy. I’ll admit, one thing this trip demonstrates is that I am incapable of predicting what will happen and how I’ll feel about it. Still, truths come to the fore, and I’m just not that into paradise. Or, maybe I’m not into anchoring in completely uninhabited paradise. North Button was a deserted island with no sign of human life anywhere, no yachties, no divers, no fisherman. Nothing. The snorkeling was phenomenal, the beach a dream, the jokes and talks with Alyssa were my saving grace, but still I felt a bit crazed. Maybe if we had sailed around the paradise islands of the Andamans more aggressively, I would have enjoyed it. Like, we could have endeavored to cruise by all the islands so we’d be raising the sails, tacking, jibing, navigating, racing against the clock to see everything. That would have been kick ass. But instead we chilled out for days…which is…fine…I’m just tormented by the notion of chilling out for six weeks in Chagos. I’m sure relaxed, chill people would argue that I need to relax for six weeks, that it would be good for me. But all I feel right now is the tiny thumping of agitation around the edges of my heart. Two weeks in Maldives, six weeks in Chagos, one week in Seychelles – that’s a total of nine weeks in paradise. John just loves paradise. He eventually grew to love India and discovered the friendliness amidst the chaos in Port Blair, so I hope he is able to do that in Madagascar. But he’s a Paradise Guy. I’m a Chaos Girl. If I had it my way, I’d spend no more than three weeks in these paradise places and add an additional six weeks in the madness places – I’d have stopped in Sri Lanka and maybe up to Kerala, then the emphasis would be on Madagascar. But I respect that John is a gentle soul and the crazy cities and busy cultures overwhelm him. Oh god, does this mean peace overwhelms me? I’m not going to think about that.

Posted on 30 March 2009