January 19, 2014
I was at a little wine & cheese thing with a bunch of women at a house in the suburbs last night. They were all very beautiful, fit, totally together women. They know each other from the gym. Most of them were about a decade older than me, several were recently divorced.[bxA]
We talked about dating. The really tall athletic one, about my age, has extensive experience with online dating and told us how to spot the weirdos. If a guy posts only one photo, no way. He's not attractive. One photo from a distance, even worse. If they're willing to travel in from another city, think twice. Personalities, she said, come across in the email exchanges before the date. Trust your intuition. If something seems weird in the email, it'll be weirder in person. If he comes across as a good person in email, it'll probably pan out. Never go to dinner, just get coffee you don't want to be trapped. A lot of guys talk incessantly about their divorce.
The whole thing sounds excruciating.
I moved to the sofa and compared notes with two women who work remotely. "We're virtual. We communicate by Webex." I wanted to know what their Webex meetings are like, do they use the video features. We don't. We show the screen of the person hosting the meeting, but not the face.
Do you like it? I asked, about not going into an office. "It's a blessing and curse," she said. Working alone, in house clothes, with flexibility to do whatever you want whenever you want, but.... "I need people." So do I!
I told them I'm struggling with the work-from-home thing. Should I work in the office? Should I make my team? I keep meaning to google Marissa Mayer, the CEO of Yahoo! who made all the remote workers return to working in the office. "I believe in the synergies that occur when people are in the same room together," I felt their presence as I said it, "This conversation would be different if the three of us were Skyping. I like being her in the room with you."
But then we started talking about what it would be like to have a real job again. Showering early in the morning, putting on real clothes and then there's the commute. Traffic. Every day.
I can't even imagine.